Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love


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Barbara Smith is an occupational therapist specializing in developmental disabilities. She discovered a penchant for creating highly effective therapeutic activities out of household materials such as detergent bottles, cardboard boxes and newspapers. Her book The Recycling Occupational Therapist describes how to fabricate and use these activities.

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I truly feel honored to be included as an integral part of the AlzAuthors group. Not only have I written a book with will make my grandmother proud, I have lived the caregiving experience one hundred percent. It was up to me. I understand the stress that families are going through, including worrying and grieving for the Grandma I knew even though she was still alive. The day she no longer recognized me is a moment that will forever be etched on my heart.

Dementia is preventable through lifestyle. Start now. - Max Lugavere - TEDxVeniceBeach

From the AlzAuthors Blog By Cathi Braxton and Tami Neumann Janna, a resident in a memory care facility, woke up one night and found a few staff members congregated around the nurses station. Like this: Like Loading By Sarah Bearden Smith Writing a book was never a dream of mine. I'm getting worried he will soon be kicked out of this nursing home for his lecherous behavior. I'm not dealing with him cornering me again with me taking care of him, always trying to get under my shirt or demanding mouth kisses or trying to coax me into his bed This behavior is not new, we couldn't even have friends over while growing up because of his sexual nature.

Any HELP out there? Skilled Nursing Facility. This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question. Sodonewithsal1 Jul Take care of yourself, Kala, You've been through some awful stuff with your father, and now that he's in a nursing home it's time to look after your own health. For everyone who's commented that they don't see the harm in elderly people flirting and kissing, or doing more than kissing, you're right, as long as it's mutual.

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Of course older people have sexual feelings, and they should be allowed the privacy to act on those feelings, but what this man is doing is unacceptable. He's forcing himself on women who don't welcome the attention, one of whom was asleep at the time. It's not okay for someone to do that when they're thirty, and it's not okay when they're eighty-nine. This isn't some nice old gent who likes to smooch the ladies with the ladies' enthusiastic permission, but a man who's made a lifetime habit of forcing himself on women. Fortunately, the staff at the nursing home has been alerted to what's going on so they can keep an eye on him.

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Helpful Answer 1. Post Reply. See -1 more reply. KalaFW Jul You have given me excellent advice, something I may need in the future. I will continue to manage his affairs, be an adult about all of this, make sure I visit regularly, etc. I have had therapy in the past, and I suggest therapy for anyone who has those demons in their closets, no shame in it AMEN to that.

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Or therapy for those under so much stress during their care giving, so many of us let our own mental and physical health go to shreds because we are so focused on caring for others. After I had my father admitted to the NH, I ended up in the hospital for days due to a heart condition that I was ignoring. I just kept pushing myself by no sleep, and taking additional heart meds when I felt too sick to take one more step. Last June I was admitted for 8 days in the cardiac wing of the hospital for neglecting my heart problems, my heart beat had gone down so low I could not walk or focus and had to be hooked up to the defibrillator in the ER, I was down to 38 beats per minutes, skipping beats, heart was stopping but also suffering from bigeminey which is a double heart beat, my heart doesn't know whether to run a marathon or hibernate a lot due to electrical pulse, lol.

I have a history of electrical problems on the right side of my heart. Something I learned during my years of care giving Try to schedule those visits during a weekday and make appointments with the Head Nurse, Social Director, be involved. But most of us are to the point where WE are beginning to need help at home or developing health problems or struggling with our own current health, we have to take care of ourselves as well.

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Easier said than done. I know. If I missed thanking anyone for their advice, I thank you now. So many of you have offered excellent insight and options that will help me now and in the future. Helpful Answer 2. KalaFW, I am soooo sorry that you are having to deal with your dad continuing to victimize people, including yourself! It was bad enough you had to put up with him throughout childhood on, but now to have to be responsible for him??!! I don't know about other states, but we do have one N.

You might want to explore this in the state where you live.

Also, if it comes down to it, you might want to look at what it would take to have the State step in, e. Adult Protective Services, and to consider him to be "abandoned", where you are no longer willing to accept responsibility for him, including refusal to pick him up for discharge from the N. Be careful with this option as it could give you an Official State record of "Abandonment, etc.

You have been his victim far too long, and you don't deserve it! If nothing else, it might help for you to see a counselor at this time just to get some support for yourself. Helpful Answer 0. Caregiver99 Jul A person would have to be acephalic to believe that inflatable dolls are anything approaching human.

You can't fool an old hen with chaff! SheliaJ Jul Thank you sodonewith, apparently this is nothing to do with meds and was an issue way back when. I did not see anywhere here that there was anymore than touchy feely going on with some kisses and for all I know the ladies might even enjoy being flirted with. I think I would I still believe that the NH has a handle on this behavior and would not let anyone be assaulted in such a way and again everyone there has an option to leave or move their parent if they don't like the way the facility handles the issue. Meds "salt peter" I believe it is more of a mind set than anything really, I have a situation of the same issue, 93 years old, believe me it don't stand up, but just the contact, catching a feel, eeewe, I know!


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  6. Not much time left for him but, I don't know, is it wrong? I hope when I get that old someone still flirts around with me Thanks all, best of wishes Kala Dear Seenypa, I'm sorry to read about your dad and I sincerely pray that all goes well with him and the family. I think flirting is cute especially in the senior years, keeps them happy and smiling and giggling, gives them life, as long as that line isn't crossed. Dear SoDoneWithSal, I know, living to this age with black lung seems unreal; I don't believe there is anyone else he worked with who is living. He is one of the physically healthiest people I've met; never had blood pressure, cholesterol, heart, weight problems, could eat anything he wanted, etc.

    He only takes steroids for the black lung and that works really well for him. Really thinking hard about this, he very well could be bi-polar and never diagnosed properly; I lean more toward psychopathic because of his ability to disguise his behavior and turn it on or off in a split second. When you hear the phrase nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, his face comes to mind. I've also been thinking about the few conversations I have had with the NH Social Director, very bluntly discussing his sexual behavior with her; so they can't say they didn't know about it.

    Meet Barbara Smith, author of “Still Giving Kisses”

    I have Monday off work and plan to call early to see if I can get an appointment with the Dept of Nursing or Social Director, I doubt if the doctor would be available at such short notice. I feel if I ask for their advice, follow that, then if something goes wrong, I can honestly say I was following the NH protocol. But if push comes to shove, I'll pay more to have him moved to a more secure wing.

    I simply can't have him back in his house where yet another young girl will live the rest of her life traumatized by his actions. I only recently found out my 37 yr old daughter was another victim of his sexual predatory nature; kept silent by his threats and was afraid to tell me. This explains a lot of her young teen years behavior when we could not figure out why she was acting out so badly.

    Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love
    Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love
    Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love
    Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love
    Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love
    Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love Still Giving Kisses: A Guide to Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimers Victim You Love

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